“Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.”
― Lewis Carroll,
Do you ever get the feeling of never knowing what you really are? You’re stuck inside this endless maze searching for a thing you are not sure if it’s real or not. I tell you my friend, it’s the worst feeling ever. The feeling of being out of place, the feeling of being confused, the feeling of being different, and the feeling of a doubt are the struggles of teenagers. You sometimes look at the mirror and tell yourself “What am I? Who am I?” and begin to wonder what to do next. People always look for exits when they are inside mazes but if you’re in the labyrinth of life, you need to look for yourself.
Now you begin to wonder. How do I find myself? With a mirror? With my reflection? It’s a funny answer but it is right but not literally. You need to reflect. Reflect what you’d become and what you’d done. By doing this, you can conclude if you become something. After that, you’ll need to choose if you want it or not. Because by choosing, you are choosing sides. It’s an unfortunate event if you are stuck in between because it’s more painful. If one side is full of pain, the ‘in between’ side is even more painful. Remember that. So you need to choose. Also, you need to mark in your mind that it’s your choice not your surrounding. They have no power, your will is the coal in your engine not theirs. If you are sure about your choices, prove if it’s the right thing or has the most acceptable reason. If the whole world is against you, don’t lose hope. But be sure that your choice is base from your heart. That’s the reason why most of the people are out of place even though they have friends or people with them. If you focus and follow your dream, there will be people who will tag along in your journey. You will never be alone.
“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
― Lewis Carroll,
I’m saying this to you, reader, because I experienced this feeling. It’s like finding a way into a sh*thole. You always thought about burying yourself alive. Yes, you heard it right. I became suicidal because of this. That’s why I think this is a dangerous problem. But doncha’ worry reader, I’ll be your hero for tonight… or day if you’re reading this under the joyful gleam of the sun. So if you’re holding a knife, don’t cut yourself yet. Wait for my last remark. Or if you’re reading this before jumping from the ledge, hold your horses. And also, don’t hang yourself if you’re using a rope. Just wait, okay? (Use nylon, it’ll choke you better… joke).
Continue. You are just confuse that’s why you want to end this now. But I tell you, cupcake, everything will get better. If you can’t see yourself, try harder. It’s just hidden and hidden things will get out if the seeker continues to seek. You know why ‘yourself’ is hidden within yourself? It is because it’s a treasure! Treasures are hidden because those are precious. Precious! *Insert Gollum voice*
Change is constant, we know that, but the only problem with this is how people deal with these changes. Change is inevitable and you can see it in yourself. It is difficult to decipher the differences but it is possible. Sometimes these changes become layers covering your true self. I thought this layers are not that bad because it cover your whole personality and also substitute your flaws. Be sure to dig this by not forgetting who you are or where you came from. This core helps you to be unique, to have diversity to other human.
Our world is a revolving irony. They said that we need to have a group that has the same belief and manner for us to survive but an individual has his own belief and he is unique in a way that he is. Think of us as a piece of a jigsaw puzzle. We have our own disadvantages and advantages. We have our gap and by the help of others we fill it and be complete. Keep on your mind that puzzles have different pieces which have different shapes. You define your own self and with other’s help, they complete this definition.
Did you find yourself yet? If not, there are so much time. Don’t give up. Take it slow if you can’t find it rushing everything. You are something. I repeat. You are something! There’s no one who is hollow in this world. If you call a man nothing, they are those who don’t exist in our reality. But you know what, you are reading this and you exist. You have a name. You have an unique face if not decent. You have personalities. You have various skills. And the most special one, you have yourself.
This is my last remark. Embrace yourself now.
Walk and wander until you find it.
Img source: https://whenmybrainfarts.wordpress.com/2015/09/23/in-the-maze/