Labyrinth: How Do You Find Yourself Inside A Maze?


“Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Do you ever get the feeling of never knowing what you really are? You’re stuck inside this endless maze searching for a thing you are not sure if it’s real or not. I tell you my friend, it’s the worst feeling ever. The feeling of being out of place, the feeling of being confused, the feeling of being different, and the feeling of a doubt are the struggles of teenagers. You sometimes look at the mirror and tell yourself “What am I? Who am I?” and begin to wonder what to do next. People always look for exits when they are inside mazes but if you’re in the labyrinth of life, you need to look for yourself.

Now you begin to wonder. How do I find myself? With a mirror? With my reflection? It’s a funny answer but it is right but not literally. You need to reflect. Reflect what you’d become and what you’d done. By doing this, you can conclude if you become something. After that, you’ll need to choose if you want it or not. Because by choosing, you are choosing sides. It’s an unfortunate event if you are stuck in between because it’s more painful. If one side is full of pain, the ‘in between’ side is even more painful. Remember that. So you need to choose. Also, you need to mark in your mind that it’s your choice not your surrounding. They have no power, your will is the coal in your engine not theirs. If you are sure about your choices, prove if it’s the right thing or has the most acceptable reason. If the whole world is against you, don’t lose hope. But be sure that your choice is base from your heart. That’s the reason why most of the people are out of place even though they have friends or people with them. If you focus and follow your dream, there will be people who will tag along in your journey. You will never be alone.

“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I’m saying this to you, reader, because I experienced this feeling. It’s like finding a way into a sh*thole. You always thought about burying yourself alive. Yes, you heard it right. I became suicidal because of this. That’s why I think this is a dangerous problem. But doncha’ worry reader, I’ll be your hero for tonight… or day if you’re reading this under the joyful gleam of the sun. So if you’re holding a knife, don’t cut yourself yet. Wait for my last remark. Or if you’re reading this before jumping from the ledge, hold your horses. And also, don’t hang yourself if you’re using a rope. Just wait, okay? (Use nylon, it’ll choke you better… joke).

Continue. You are just confuse that’s why you want to end this now. But I tell you, cupcake, everything will get better. If you can’t see yourself, try harder. It’s just hidden and hidden things will get out if the seeker continues to seek. You know why ‘yourself’ is hidden within yourself? It is because it’s a treasure! Treasures are hidden because those are precious. Precious! *Insert Gollum voice*

Change is constant, we know that, but the only problem with this is how people deal with these changes. Change is inevitable and you can see it in yourself. It is difficult to decipher the differences but it is possible. Sometimes these changes become layers covering your true self. I thought this layers are not that bad because it cover your whole personality and also substitute your flaws. Be sure to dig this by not forgetting who you are or where you came from. This core helps you to be unique, to have diversity to other human.

Our world is a revolving irony. They said that we need to have a group that has the same belief and manner for us to survive but an individual has his own belief and he is unique in a way that he is. Think of us as a piece of a jigsaw puzzle. We have our own disadvantages and advantages. We have our gap and by the help of others we fill it and be complete. Keep on your mind that puzzles have different pieces which have different shapes. You define your own self and with other’s help, they complete this definition.

Did you find yourself yet? If not, there are so much time. Don’t give up. Take it slow if you can’t find it rushing everything. You are something. I repeat. You are something! There’s no one who is hollow in this world. If you call a man nothing, they are those who don’t exist in our reality. But you know what, you are reading this and you exist. You have a name. You have an unique face if not decent. You have personalities. You have various skills. And the most special one, you have yourself.

This is my last remark. Embrace yourself now.

Walk and wander until you find it.



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Behind The Scene

Why do I need to waste my time writing this? Oh yah, because you’re my bestfriend. Not only my bestfriend, But my only girl bestfriend. Beloved bestfriend? Girl bestfriend na lang.

First of all, OH MY GOD! You’re 18 now! Finally, relate na ang height mo sa age mo. Pang-adult na! Yay! Ang bilis din ng oras noh, dati 12 years old lang tayo. Tapos inaasar pa kita noon na kick out sa Miss U.

Thank God umabot ka pa sa 18 and I thank him also for giving me you. Ew.

Magkekwento muna ako sayo.

I have this pet, when I’m in high school, na super suplada. I mean, nilalambing ko lang siya pero magagalit sa akin. But eventhough she was like that, I love her and I keep her. Nawawala stress ko kasi kapag dumadating ako. Specially to those days when I thought that I am alone and broken hearted. Those days I thought the whole world turned against me. Ang shitty ng mga days na yun but it became bearable with my pet.

Yah. Tama hula mo. Ikaw yun.


Birthday mo pala, dapat pala mabait ako.

Promise, hindi kita mumurahin dito kahit ngayong araw lang.

Thank you, sobra. You saved me for I don’t know how many times. Real talk.
When I thought I don’t want to exist anymore, titingin lang ako sayo tapos sasabihin ko bigla “Nah, meron pang mga tao na mas malala sitwasyon kaysa sa akin”. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Joke lang.

For the adventures we had and those moments, even though it consist mainly of you complaining why we need to do those, we share together; those are things I treasure kahit na nagkaroon ako ng new set of friends.


Ang cute natin dito, mukha tayong magjowa kaso hindi. Ew. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Hindi ko alam kung napapasaya ako ng annoyed af face mo kapag inaasar kita or sa fact na kaya kong tumawa kahit ang sama-sama mo sa akin. HAHAHAHAHA.

Thank you din sa advice, for the counsel you’d given me sa mga points na hindi ko maintindihan. Kilala mo naman ako, pati yung mga weaknesses ko na pilit kong nilalabanan, and you know ways. Tho some part of it were difficult and harsh, those were the most right to do.


That day when we want to fight inside the octagon.

And syempre, thank you for staying kahit na alam natin na I’m the most annoying person in your world. Akalain mo yun, naging bestfriend mo pa ako. I’m really glad to be a part of it you know, and you have no choice kasi papatayin mo muna ako bago ako mawala sa mundo mo. >:)

More adventures to come! Marami pa akong lugar na gusto puntahan with you and the other gang. Wala nang libre-libre, bwiset ka. Excited na ako sa mga susunod nating adventures.


Nagpalibre ka ng jampong hindi mo naman inubos.

And also, sabay-sabay natin i-reach goals natin. Kahit 10 years pa lumipas, I know we will still see each other doing stupid stuff like good ol’ times.


Wala lang. Gusto ko lang maglagay ng picture ko.

Oy, you’re adult now but still you’re Mika for me. Always. That girl with burn skin and bones, who love dancing and singing boys from korea. Alam mo ba, dati akong bitter kapag pinag-uusapan Korea or korean related stuff? Nakayanan ko lang yun nang dahil sayo.

Sa mga susunod na araw, if there is a time, marami akong ipapakilala sayo. Of course I’ll be proud. “Ey, bespren ko guys! Layo kayo onti baka mahawaan kayo sa sumpa.”
Mga ganyanan. HAHAHAHAHA. But realtalk, papakilala kita sa buong mundo if I have a chance.

Ang angas lang kasi ang cheesy ko sayo, I mean ikaw lang ata hindi ko kamag-anak na cheesy ako pero I don’t find it in a romantic way.

Starting from this:


Now we are here:



HAHAHAHAHA. Joke lang.

Happy Birthday again Mika! Baket hindi ka nagdebut? T^T
Alam mo bang pinagpaplanuhan ko na yung pagpapahiya ko sayo sa harapan ng tao?

Still, happy birthday! Wish you all the best curses in the world!

I love you sooooooo much!
Virtual hug! \(^0^)/

P. S. Wag ka nang manghingi ng regalo, broke ako. HAHAHAHA.

Family inside Pinas


Family here in the Philippines promotes loyalty, priorities, responsibility, common good, and “bayanihan” which is common to the social members of the society of the country. Philippines were influenced by many countries because of the colonization of powerful countries back in the day. That’s why our country adapt the other culture of the countries like Japan, United States, and Spain and form our own unique culture. The family’s culture was mostly based by the practices of religion especially christian catholic. If you looked into a family, you can see that most of them centers God in their life and how they do things. Family has a great contribution to the society because it is where things start.

We have different types of family here in the Philippines just like in other countries but the most dominant is extended family. Why? Is it because we practice hospitality especially to our kin biologically and also by tradition. Just like my family, we are extended because my grandparents are still with us and also my grandfather’s cousin. Families here in Philippines, unlike United States, still care for elders and take their home. Old people are not always sent to the home for the ages but every member of the family take care and give their needs. We believed that it is better for them to spend their rest of their life beside their kin. Another reason why extended family is dominant is because of compadrazgo. It is also because of religion why we have “ninongs” and “ninangs”. Every child that went to baptism and kumpil is not complete without a godfather or godmother. Usually godfathers and godmothers are people with power and money that can support the needs of the child.

The next in the list is nuclear family. Usually these are families that stay away from their other kin not because they don’t want to, but because they believed that they can be independent without the help of them. nuclear families also are groups that I believed, don’t want the chaos or the noises brought by their kin. Just like my auntie in Cavite, I heard my mother and her talking and she said that she don’t want to go near our grandparents and her siblings because they bring disaster. Sometimes nuclear families happened when their grandparents or other members of their kin die and are not with them anymore.

We also have blended family but not frequently. It happened to celebrities and other couples that have personal problems. They marry again because of the needs of their children if they happened to have one. They believed that they can’t support the needs of their children without help but sometimes single parents don’t marry anymore because they think they have enough and they can support the needs of their child alone.

We always marry people inside our community or ethnic because of various factors. First, it is because of convenience. Not because women in our society are easy to get but because they are already here in walking in our society. Second, we believed that it is better if our blood is pure and without a mix. It is the reason of incest too but it’s a bad practice and we don’t promote that. And lastly, because it is easier if we have the same culture and sometimes different culture has many conflicts. People in exogamy are frequently those who went overseas or sees a foreigner wandering to their place.

Since we practice loyalty, most of the married couple have only one partner. Christian  religion does not support having many partners romantically. But muslims here in the Philippines can have many partners as long as they can support and handle it. Muslims and christians, though they are both abundant in the Philippines, have different culture because of religion. That’s why they differ in family, having polygami in muslim and monogamy in christian.

Although there are different family types here in Philippines, if you combine them all we form our society here in our country. Because of them, our society became unique. They have different tradition, beliefs, and ways of living but just like other countries they work together and form a system. Family is the basic unit of the society. Just a single unit, imagine all the possibilities that they can do.



Look at the hand of the clock
it’s moving and pointing at 12
it’s another tomorrow and there’s no going back
You let go of things you held
You turn your back to yesterday
you say that tomorrow is all you need
but wait until someone say
to you, that your present will lead

Watching the time goes by
and all the changes in reality
but a clock is only a lie
to finish your works immediately
you only live once
you have only short live
so they say, sing and dance
out of fear we dive
shout out our feeling
and grab opportunities
don’t just look at the ceiling
but rather sail to endless seas

We care about time
simply because we are mortal
we treat it like a dime
and create our own moral
before there’s no sand left
in this humongous hour glass
Rising up in this depth
filling this whole canvas

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